Could It Be … SEITAN?

It’s a post!  With photos!  Be still my beeting heart!

(Went there.)

I am currently apartment hunting in New York, and last week I decided Brooklyn deserved a little attention.  Specifically, I wanted to check out the Cobble Hill area.  I had the pleasure of visiting some friends of friends who live in an incredible old brownstone there and they pretty much sold me on the neighborhood as soon as they opened the door.  It’s slightly less pricey than my favorite hood, the West Villy, and it’s disarmingly quieter.  After getting used to the sound of the city, it took me a while to adjust to the calm on the other side of the river.  ANYWAY, this blog is about food.

I decided to check out Jill’s after yelping several options.  At first glance, the place reminded me of M Cafe de Chaya in Los Angeles - aka Mecca.  It was clean, bright, modern - all the nice stuff that suckers like me are into.  I walked up to the counter and was floored by the beautiful display of salads and desserts in their glass case.  I decided to order a two side dish of beets and cucumber spaghetti and a slice of the ridiculously good looking (raw!!) chocolate cake.  The first problem arose when I ordered - the woman behind the counter was RUDE.  I get the stereotype of New Yorkers - I get it and I appreciate it.  I like it when people are upfront and honest, but seriously.  If you’re going to be in the service industry (especially in a rather unique specialty restaurant), maybe you should get rid of the perma-tude.  Speaking of attitude, let me complain some more.  I ordered what seemed to me like a pretty small amount of food and when the total came out to $30, I thought about saying ‘forget it’ and leaving.  Since I’m a pushover and severely passive aggressive (blogrevenge), I payed and perched myself on one the uncomfortably small stools the restaurant offers.

All that said, the beets were okay and the cucumber spaghetti was …. ok.  The portions were about the size of my fist - which is very small.  I still didn’t finish any of it.  But the raw chocolate cake.  Oh.

Oh.

Albeit, not worth ten dollars but Oh.

The different colored layers had different textures - the light was more like a mousse and the dark was more brownie like.  The cacao nibs on top added a nice crunch and bitterness aaaaggghsogood.  I walked through the pouring rain, eating it with my hands, and probably looking like a complete whackadoo cracked out on raw chocolate goodness.  I don’t know what the exact ingredients were - something about figs and dates and nuts blah blah blah the cake took over my listening skills when the counter lady read off the ingredient list in a voice that said, “I hate my life.”  I think she has never tasted this cake.

Overall, I understand that raw food will always be a little bit pricier because of the ingredients and freshness but if you’re going to rob me blind, at least smile about it.

Sorry to all for the abrupt halt in my blogging - this job and this city take up a lot more time than I expected! I haven’t had my camera on me to take pictures of meals at restaurants out of vanity’s sake. I feel like lugging around my huge camera will be quickly followed by large maps, shorts with socks and sneakers, and a nice hot pink fanny pack. I have, however, been making my rounds on the vegan spectrum of New York City. I’ve been to Sacred Chow, Gobo, and Caravan of Dreams. Also, the Whole Foods near me has a (really really exciting) shelf of vegan desserts that change every day. Please behold my favorite breakfast since I’ve been in the city - Sweet & Sara Peanut Butter Smore.

Nothing like some real power fuel for a run through Central Park.  It was wonderful!!  As a kid, I was really gross and would make s’mores in the microwave.  That’s right.  So I clearly have some kind of addiction to the chocolate, marshmallow, graham cracker combination.  Add peanut butter into the mix and you have me, face down on the floor, in a foodjoy coma.  Sweet & Sara slammed me down on first bite.  The chocolate coating was thick and had a great bite to it.  The graham cracker was pretty crumbly, but the gooey marshmallow held on to all the crumbs.  If anything, I would ask for more (moremoremore!) peanut butter, but the thin layer inside added a decadence to the whole shebang.  Sure, it was a pricey endeavor (almost 5 dolla bills y’all), but it was worth every swoon bite.

Friday morning I woke up with a need for something involving chocolate and bananas - and I had 2 hours to get to a meeting on time. It was one of those weeks. Yeah. So, my mission was clear: The World’s Fastest Banana Bread. I ‘used’ the Lower Fat Banana Bread recipe from Veganomicon, but it would be a shame to credit this loaf to Isa and Terry because I didn’t have any time for measurements. Only time for eatin’. So this bread didn’t turn out quite how I’d hoped - a little uncooked in the middle and brown on the bottom. I think I had a manic attack of the stirring-arm so the bread was also a bit gummy due to overmixing. Too much apple sauce too. But you know what? Whatever. Whatever! Chocolate chip banana bread is what I wanted and it’s what I gots. It’s actually pretty great after hanging out in the freezer and getting toasty in the toasty toaster oven. Besides, I got to prove to myself yet again that my measurement-eyeballing skills are not quite honed. And that, my friends, is a good lesson to learn.

The other day, I recieved a package in the mail from my mom full of chocolate and pens topped with bunnies and plastic eggs. I scratched my head, wondering what game we were playing that involved mailing one another sweets and baby animals and went out to find a raccoon to FedEx back to her. After disguising myself under piles of garbage and hiding in a dumpster for an hour or five, I decided the lasting stench wasn’t worth it and carried myself home in the early morning light. Much to my surprise, when I arrived back at my apartment, there were hoards of small people rifling through my yard. I don’t like when neighbors trample our roses, so I ran screaming into the yard - flinging banana peels and cereal boxes along the way. How dare someone enter my private property to loot flowers - and on a Sunday morning! It was then, with the dozen or so sobbing tots dispersing in a mass flee and the hoard of angry looking adults encroaching on my personal space, that I remembered what holiday it was. And I thought Easter was in April?

What better way to recover from such a jarring realization than to hold a fancy ladies’ tea party in the park!? OK, the truth is I DID forget it was Easter and planned a tea party on Saturday without that knowledge - but it became an Easter-themed party anyway!

The whole shabang complete with Green Jasmine and Peach teas.

I made currant scones from The Joy of Vegan Baking by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau. This was my first time using this cookbook, and I was not disappointed! The scones I made are really small -roughly the size of a golf ball - and the tiny currants and cinnamon made them a perfect companion to afternoon tea.

I also made my first pie from scratch! This is a Blueberry Lemon Pie based on Veganyumyum’s Cherry Lime Pie. The Sound of Music was on television, so I whipped out my apron and felt like a serious domestic goddess rolling out chilled pie dough and prancing around my kitchen table with Julie Andrews.

The only thing I changed about the pie was, well … guess. I think next time I will half the sugar, only because after eating the pie I was able to run my PR time on a 5K distance. Guess we know what I’ll be eating next time a race comes around! Just call me shakey!

Finally, I made some *presh* chocolate birds nests with marzipan eggs. These were so cutesy I nearly shed a tear. I basically melted a chocolate bar and mixed in some crumbled Weetabix, formed them into nests in a mini-muffin pan and let them chill out. I made the marzipan eggs using food coloring and marzipan. Eeeeasy, bro.

Ain’t no robins in here!

I put out some real food too, including carrots with hummus and crackers spread with Tofutti cream cheese and an olive tapenade - only to pretend that I’m an adult who doesn’t eat pie and chocolate for every meal (What, mom? I swear I don’t).

It was such a gorgeous day that we decided to document it. We have made plans to turn this into an official ladies’ club and do lovely feminine things all the time now. And some not so feminine - midnight bike rides anyone?

Tree climbing commenced shortly after tea. I’m in the hat. Jay-Z told me hats are so necessary.

More beautiful tea party ladies!